How to Get Divorced in Connecticut

Step 1. Decide which path fits

Connecticut has three routes. Picking the right one saves months.

Step 2. Start the case — file and serve

The person who files first is the Plaintiff. You prepare a small packet, a state marshal serves it on your spouse, and then you file it with the court.

The starting packet

Step 3. The Automatic Orders take effect non-negotiable

The moment your spouse is served, Practice Book § 25-5 Automatic Orders bind both of you. They are real court orders — violating them is contempt.

Step 4. The other side responds

Once served, your spouse (the Defendant) should:

• File an Appearance (JD-CL-12) — non-negotiable miss this and you can be defaulted (lose without a hearing).
• Optionally file an Answer, and a Cross-Complaint if they want their own relief (Practice Book § 25-9).

Step 5. Financial affidavits — the spine of the case non-negotiable

Both parties must file a sworn Financial Affidavit (JD-FM-6, short or long form) listing income, expenses, assets, and debts. Nearly every money fight — alimony, support, fees, property — is decided off these documents.

Step 6. Pathways & the case date

Connecticut runs family cases through "Pathways" case management (Practice Book § 25-50A). Early on you get a Resolution Plan Date (RPD) — a meeting with a family relations counselor to sort what you agree on and assign the case a track (A = simplest, B = moderate, C = high-conflict).

Step 7. Pendente lite motions — relief "while the case is pending"

This is where contested divorces live. "Pendente lite" (PL) means temporary orders that hold until the final judgment. The common ones:

Step 8. Discovery — getting the facts

Connecticut requires mandatory disclosure (§ 25-32): both sides automatically exchange financial documents, no request needed. Beyond that you can serve interrogatories, requests for production, requests for admission, and take depositions (Practice Book Chapter 13).

• If the other side stonewalls → Motion to Compel (§ 13-14).
• If their requests are abusive or invade privilege → Motion for Protective Order (§ 13-5).

Step 9. Settlement or trial

Most cases settle. If you reach agreement, you write it up as a Separation Agreement / Stipulation (§ 46b-66) and the judge incorporates it into the decree. If you can't agree, you file Proposed Orders (§ 25-30) and a pretrial memo, and the judge decides after trial.

Step 10. Judgment & after

The judge enters the dissolution decree with final orders on custody, support, alimony, and property. After judgment you may need:

• Motion for Modification (§ 46b-86) — change support/alimony/custody after a substantial change in circumstances.
• Motion for Contempt (§ 25-27) — enforce the decree if your ex doesn't comply.
• Motion to Open (§ 52-212a) — narrow, and generally only within 4 months.

Maneuvers & tactics you'll see

What well-resourced opponents do

• "Papering" you — a flood of motions, objections, and discovery to raise your cost and overwhelm you. Counter: counsel-fee motion + stay disciplined on the § 25-34A motion list.
• Conditioning courtesies — "we'll agree to your continuance only if you give up X." Counter: document the demand; a disproportionate condition becomes an equity argument and a credibility problem for them.
• Controlling the record — protective orders and sealing motions to keep things quiet. Counter: know §§ 13-5 and 25-59A and make them meet the legal standard.

Tactics that actually move a case

• Automatic-orders contempt as leverage — the first party to document a violation gains the high ground and a fee hook.
• Financial-affidavit impeachment — line up their sworn affidavit against their bank records.
• Exclusive possession — who stays in the house often shapes the custody status quo.
• Sequencing — land your fee and support relief before the expensive fights.

The non-negotiables — skip these and you lose on procedure, not merits